By Daniel, ESL Educator & Idiom Series Author
Maya and her brother Leo haven’t spoken in two years. It started with an argument about money, and neither of them remembers the details anymore. Then, at their grandmother’s birthday dinner, Leo walks over, holds out his hand and says, “Can we just bury the hatchet?”
Quick answer: To bury the hatchet means to end a fight or disagreement and become friendly again.
A real ceremony, not just a figure of speech
A hatchet is a small axe. For many Indigenous nations of North America, it was both a tool and a weapon of war. Unlike many idioms, this one points to an actual practice: when peace was made, hatchets or axes were buried in the ground as a sign that the fighting was over.
Gary Martin of The Phrase Finder collects several early European descriptions of it:
- 1644: An English translation of the Jesuit Relations, reports by French missionaries, describes a wish “to hurl the hatchet so far into the depths of the earth that it shall never again be seen.”
- 1680: The New England colonist Samuel Sewall wrote about a peace meeting at Albany, New York, where the two sides “came to an agreemt and buried two Axes in ye Ground.” Wikipedia’s summary of the event says one axe was for the English and one for the Mohawks. Sewall noted that this ceremony was considered more binding than written peace terms.
- 1747: Cadwallader Colden’s The History of the Five Indian Nations uses the words “to bury the Hatchet.” This is the earliest printed use of the exact phrase that Martin has found.
The Haudenosaunee (Iroquois) Confederacy also has a founding story in which weapons were buried beneath a great white pine, the Tree of Peace. It’s an important tradition, but it comes from oral history, so it’s hard to give it an exact date.
Over time, English speakers took the phrase out of diplomacy and into everyday life. Today, it’s used for families, friends, coworkers and even sports rivals.
It takes two people
Here’s the nuance learners often miss. You can forgive someone all by yourself, silently. But you can’t really bury the hatchet alone. The idiom describes a shared decision: both sides agree to stop fighting and move on.
That’s why you’ll usually hear it in these patterns:
- “We buried the hatchet.” (both people as the subject)
- “She buried the hatchet with her old business partner.”
- “It’s time to bury the hatchet.” (often a suggestion or a request)
Also, burying the hatchet doesn’t mean the two people suddenly become best friends. It means the conflict is finished. They might simply become polite and respectful again.
Small words, big difference
❌ “I buried the hatchet to my neighbor.”
✅ “I buried the hatchet with my neighbor.”
❌ “Let’s bury a hatchet.”
✅ “Let’s bury the hatchet.”
❌ “They buried their hatchets.”
✅ “They buried the hatchet.” (Even with two or more people, keep it singular.)
The past tense is regular: bury, buried, buried.
Neighbors, ten years later
Omar: I saw you having coffee with Mr. Davis. I thought you two hated each other.
Elena: We did, after the fence argument. But his wife was sick last month, and I brought them dinner.
Omar: So you buried the hatchet?
Elena: We did. Life’s too short.
Other ways to end a fight
- make up: become friends again after an argument; very common and casual, especially for couples and close friends
- let bygones be bygones: agree to forget about past problems
- make peace: more serious, used for people or even countries
- call a truce: agree to stop fighting, sometimes only for a while
Quick practice
Fill in the blanks: “After the election, the two candidates shook hands and agreed to ___ the ___.”
True or false? If only one person decides to forget an argument, while the other is still angry, they have buried the hatchet.
Answers: bury, hatchet. False. Burying the hatchet is something both sides do together.
A Note from Daniel
What I appreciate about this idiom is its honesty. It doesn’t claim the conflict was unimportant or ask you to act like it never happened. Instead, it says, “Put the weapon in the ground.” That’s not the same as forgetting, and it might actually be more realistic. The hatchet was real; you’re just not holding it anymore. If you have a story about a time you buried the hatchet with someone, or a time you wish you had, I’d truly love to hear it.
Sources
- Martin, G. “Bury the hatchet.” The Phrase Finder. phrases.org.uk
- “Burying the hatchet.” Wikipedia. wikipedia.org
- Cambridge Dictionary, entry: “bury the hatchet.”
Every word carries a story. Stay curious. — Daniel