Idiom Series #17: Bury the Hatchet

By Daniel, an ESL Educator, Idiom Series Author, and a Curious Guide

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Act One: Wonder

Why do we picture burying a weapon when we choose to end a conflict?

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Act Two: The Picture

Imagine two people who haven’t spoken in months, or maybe even longer. They both understand the reason. The argument that started it all might have been big or small, but now the quiet between them matters more. The distance has become something real and familiar. Neither of them wanted things to stay this way, but neither knows how to fix it.

Then one of them decides to contact the other. Maybe it’s a text, a phone call, or a knock at the door. It’s a small gesture, but it says, “I think it’s time.”

But who truly needed to hear these words?

Not the person who easily lets things go. It was the one who shouldered the weight of an unresolved conflict, the kind that stays long after the argument is over and appears in calm moments. Eventually, the burden became heavier than the pride in holding on to it.

A brother and sister stopped talking after a disagreement that previously felt huge but now seems smaller with each successive year. Two colleagues worked together in awkward silence for months after a work dispute. Old friends let a misunderstanding turn into a wall between them, and after a while, they couldn’t remember how to break it down.

Those are the people who needed to hear this phrase. Someone who decided, not by chance but by choice, that the conflict was finished. That it was time to move on and start moving forward.

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Act Three: History

This is one of the few English idioms with a clearly documented cultural origin, and that origin is genuinely worth knowing.

The phrase comes from a real practice observed among various Native American nations, where warring tribes would literally bury weapons such as hatchets, knives, and war clubs as a ceremonial act of peace. The burial was not symbolic in the modern, casual sense. It was a physical, witnessed, and binding ritual. The weapons went into the ground. The conflict was declared finished. Something new could begin.

European colonists and settlers observed this practice and recorded it in writing. One of the earliest documented references in English appears in 1680, in a colonial account of a peace agreement in New England in which Native American leaders and colonial representatives literally buried hatchets together as a formal conclusion to hostilities. The act was so vivid, so clear in its meaning, that English speakers adopted it almost immediately as a figure of speech.

What makes this origin particularly striking is that it wasn’t invented as a metaphor. It was something that actually happened in a real place: a weapon placed in the ground, a choice made visible. The English language took something holy and specific and turned it into a general phrase for any reconciliation. That transformation happened because the image was simply too clear and too powerful to stay within its original setting.

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Act Four: Why Does This Still Feel True?

Conflict is still one of the most exhausting burdens people carry, and deciding to end it remains one of the hardest choices.

We often hold onto resentments longer than they help us. We let misunderstandings turn into distance. We feel the urge to be right, to wait for the other person to make the first move, and to protect ourselves from the risk of making contact when we are unsure how it will be received.

Still, research keeps showing what the old saying already tells us: continuing conflict comes at a cost. Carrying unresolved issues affects our health, sleep, focus, and the quality of every relationship that grows in its shadow. Burying the hatchet is more than simply being polite. It is a way to take care of ourselves.

The phrase shows something important about how peace really works: it is not passive. You do not just stop fighting and call it peace. You dig. You put the weapon in the ground. You cover it. This act takes effort, intention, and at least one person willing to go first, making peace visible even before knowing whether the other person will join in.

If this phrase disappeared tomorrow, English would still have “make peace” and “let bygones be bygones.” But we would lose the physical image—the act of lowering something sharp into the earth and covering it. That image does what no neutral phrase can: it shows that ending a conflict is a deliberate, effortful, and meaningful act.

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A Final Reflection

This idiom has a subtle and firm quality. It doesn’t deny that the conflict happened, or that the hurt and argument were real. Instead, it simply says “nonetheless.” Despite everything, the hatchet is put in the ground.

The weapon doesn’t vanish. It’s buried, which shows it was real and what it stood for mattered. This idiom is more honest than “forgive and forget” because it admits there was something sharp between you. It simply means you both choose to let it go.

This gives a tougher and more truthful picture of reconciliation than most words do. Maybe that’s why, even four centuries after it moved from ceremony to everyday speech, it still expresses what people need.

That example explains why the idiom has endured. Next, let’s see how you can use it in daily conversation.

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Now Let’s Learn It: The ESL Lesson

How It Is Used Today

“Bury the hatchet” is used when two or more people decide to end a conflict, argument, or period of hostility and move forward without holding grudges. It suggests that both sides agree to let the dispute go. The phrase usually has a positive, hopeful, or relieved tone, but it can also feel serious if the conflict was significant.

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Common mistake: Learners sometimes use this phrase when talking about one person forgiving another, even if the other person does not know or take part in making peace. However, “bury the hatchet” usually means both people have agreed to make peace. If only one person has decided to let something go on their own, it is more accurate to use “forgive” or “move on.”

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Formal vs. informal: This phrase is considered informal to semi-formal. It sounds natural in conversation and works well in both private and professional settings when discussing reconciliation. In formal writing, you would probably use phrases such as “the parties agreed to resolve their differences” or “they reached a mutual understanding.” Still, “bury the hatchet” can appear in semi-formal settings such as editorials, advice columns, and workplace communication, especially when a warmer, more personal tone is needed.

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Dialogue Example

Sofia: Have you talked to your brother yet?

James: Actually, yes. We met for coffee last week.

Sofia: How did it go?

James: Better than I expected. I think we finally buried the hatchet.

Sofia: That’s such a relief. How long had it been?

James: Almost two years. It felt like longer.

Sofia: I’m glad you two found a way through it.

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Synonyms & Related Expressions

• Let bygones be bygones. This means choosing to forgive past wrongs and not let them affect your current relationship. “After years of legal disputes over the property, the two families finally agreed to let bygones be bygones and sell it quietly.”
• Mend fences. This means repairing a relationship that has been hurt by conflict, misunderstanding, or time apart. “She flew home specifically to mend fences with her father before too much more time passed.”
• Call a truce. This means agreeing to stop fighting, either temporarily or permanently, and is often the first step toward making up. “The two departments called a truce after their manager pointed out that the ongoing rivalry was slowing everyone down.”
• Make peace. This means ending a conflict and bringing a relationship back to a stable, friendly, or at least civil place. “He didn’t expect them to become close again, but he at least wanted to make peace before the family reunion.”
• Shake hands and move on. This means both sides agree that the dispute is over and choose to leave it in the past together. “After the negotiation stalled twice, both sides eventually shook hands and moved on. The deal was worth more than the argument.”

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Common Real-Life Situations

• When two friends who stopped talking decide to reconnect after some time apart. “They hadn’t spoken since the argument at the wedding, but when her mother passed away, he showed up at the funeral. That was how they finally buried the hatchet.”
• When family members who stopped speaking eventually choose to make up. “The holidays had been stressful for three years, but this year their mother sat them both down and asked them, plainly, to bury the hatchet. And they did.”
• When business rivals or colleagues settle a workplace conflict. “The two teams had been competing for the same budget for months, but the new director brought them into the same room and didn’t let anyone leave until they’d buried the hatchet.”
• When former partners manage to stay civil after a difficult breakup. “For the sake of their children, they agreed to bury the hatchet. They didn’t pretend the marriage hadn’t ended badly, but they chose to stop making the ending the focus of every exchange.”
• When longtime neighbors or community members end a dispute that divided them. “The disagreement over the fence had lasted two summers, but after both families faced separate losses that year, they quietly buried the hatchet and never mentioned it again.”

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Practice Exercises

Exercise 1: Complete the Sentences

1. “Are they still not speaking?” “No — they finally ________ ________ hatchet after running into each other at the reunion.”
2. It took three years and a lot of patience, but the two partners eventually ________ ________ ________ and relaunched the business together.
3. “I heard you and Marcus had a falling out.” “We did, but we’ve buried ________ ________. Life’s too short.”
4. The team meeting was tense at first, but by the end, everyone seemed ready to ________ the ________ and focus on the project.
5. She called him on his birthday — a small gesture, but it was clear she was reaching out to ________ ________ hatch.

Answers:

1. Buried the
2. buried the hatchet
3. the hatchet
4. bury/hatchet
5. bury the 

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Exercise 2: Multiple-Choice Questions

1. “Bury the hatchet” is best used when:
   a) One person privately decides to stop being angry, even if the other 

   person doesn’t know
b) A group decides to delay a difficult conversation until a better time   

 c) Someone is described as being very calm and non-confrontational  

   by nature
d) Two or more people mutually agree to end a conflict and move 

   forward together

2. Which sentence uses the idiom correctly?
   a) “She buried the hatchet by herself in the backyard and felt much better.“
   b) “They decided to bury the hatchet by pretending the argument had never happened and never speaking about it.”
   c) “After two years of disputes over the contract, both companies finally buried the hatchet and agreed to a new partnership.”
   d) “He buried the hatchet when he realized he had been wrong and apologized without telling her.“
3. The phrase “bury the hatchet” most likely originated from:
   a) Native American peace ceremonies in which weapons were literally buried as a sign that hostilities had ended 

b) A British military tradition in which soldiers buried their weapons after a ceasefire
c) A 19th-century American legal term for settling disputes out of court
d) A phrase from a Shakespeare play in which two feuding families agree to stop fighting

4. Which situation best illustrates “burying the hatchet“?
   a) A person who quietly decides never to speak to someone again after an argument
   b) Two siblings who had not spoken in years who finally meet for dinner, talk through what happened, and agree to move forward
   c) A manager who resolves a conflict by assigning the two parties to separate departments
   d) A person who wins an argument and feels satisfied that the dispute is over

Answers:

1. d
2. c
3. a
4. b

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Exercise 3: Error Correction

1. “They finally buried a hatchet after years of conflict.” (fix the article)
2. “She wants to bury the hatchets with her sister before the holidays.” (fix the unnecessary plural)
3. “He buried the hatchet yesterday, but she still won’t speak to him.” (The idiom implies mutual agreement — rewrite to reflect that only one party has acted)
4. “They are burying the hatchet since last year.” (fix the verb tense)
5. “Let’s just bury our hatchet and get back to work.” (fix the article — the idiom uses “the,” not “our”)

Answers:

1. “They finally buried the hatchet after years of conflict.”
2. “She wants to bury the hatchet with her sister before the holidays.”
3. “He has forgiven her, but she still won’t speak to him.” (or: “He’s ready to move on, but she isn’t there yet.”)
4. “They have been burying the hatchet since last year.” (or: “They buried the hatchet last year.”)
5. “Let’s just bury the hatchet and get back to work.”

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Exercise 4: Fill in the Blanks with Context

1. The two neighbors had argued about the property line for three summers, but a heavy snowstorm last February left them both stranded — and by the time it melted, they had quietly ________ ________ ________.
2. “Do you think they’ll ever ________ ________ ________?” “I hope so. Watching them avoid each other at every family event is exhausting.“
3. The rival companies shocked the industry when they announced a merger — apparently, their CEOs had met privately and decided it was time to ________ ________ ________.
4. “I heard you and your old roommate finally talked.” “We did. We ________ ________ ________ over the phone last week. It was long overdue.“
5. She didn’t expect the meeting to go well, but something shifted halfway through the conversation — and by the end, both of them were ready to ________ ________ ________.

Answers:

1. buried the hatchet
2. bury the hatchet
3. bury the hatchet
4. buried the hatchet
5. bury the hatchet

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Exercise 5: True or False Questions

1. “Bury the hatchet” typically implies that only one person has decided to forgive the other.
2. The phrase has its origins in Native American peace ceremonies in which weapons were literally buried.
3. The idiom is used when two or more people mutually agree to end a conflict and move forward.
4. “Bury the hatchet” is only used in the context of wars or large-scale political conflicts.
5. “Let bygones be bygones” and “mend fences” express similar ideas.

Answers:

1. False
2. True
3. True
4. False
5. True

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Exercise 6: Write Your Own Example

Think of a time when you or someone you know decided to end a conflict and make peace with someone after a tough time. In two or three sentences, describe what happened, using the idiom naturally.

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Bibliography & Additional Resources

• Cambridge Dictionary, entry: “bury the hatchet”
• Merriam-Webster Dictionary, entry: “bury the hatchet”
• Dictionary.com, entry: “bury the hatchet”
• The Phrase Finder, “Bury the hatchet — meaning and origin”
• Phrases.org.uk, entry: “Bury the hatchet”
• Word Histories, “Bury the hatchet: meaning and origin”
• (2023). Burying the Hatchet. Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burying_the_hatchet 

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Author’s Note

What I appreciate about this idiom is its honesty. It doesn’t claim the conflict was unimportant or ask you to act like it never happened. Instead, it says, “Put the weapon in the ground.” That’s not the same as forgetting, and it might actually be more realistic. The hatchet was real; you’re just not holding it anymore. If you have a story about a time you buried the hatchet with someone, or a time you wish you had, I’d truly love to hear it.

Coming up next: By the Skin of Your Teeth.

Remember: Every word has a story. Stay curious.

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If you enjoyed this story, you might also like:

Bang for Your Buck
Barking Up the Wrong Tree
Beat Around the Bush
Better Late Than Never
Bite Off More Than You Can Chew
Bite the Bullet
Blow Off Some Steam
Break a Leg
Break the Ice
Burn the Midnight Oil
By the Skin of Your Teeth